The Language of Anorexia

I read a really interesting article from the TEDblog this week about how the grammatical idiosyncrasies of the different languages we speak modify how we think.  It's a really quick read found here, but I'll give you a an example in an excerpt...

"In English, we’ll often say that someone broke a vase even if it was an accident, but Spanish and Japanese speakers tend to say that the vase broke itself...English speakers were much more likely to remember who accidentally popped balloons, broke eggs, or spilled drinks in a video than Spanish or Japanese speakers." 

Fascinating, right?  It got me thinking about the misunderstandings, miscommunications and cultural differences that cause us to inadvertently hurt each other.   It took me a really long time to understand that Steven and I were speaking different languages when it came to food.  To him, it's just food.  No emotional attachment, just something he does to keep his body running, and something he sort of enjoys.  To me, it's about a zillion times more complicated.  He would innocently make comments to me that I thought were so hurtful until we sorted it out.

And in that spirit, I bring you...

The Language of Anorexia

Said: Wow, you eat fast!
Heard: You are a giant pig, you fatty-fat face.  You disgust me.  You can't wait for one more second to shove that food into your big fat face?  You are gross.

Said: Did you eat the last brownie?
Heard: You couldn't help yourself but to hoover down that brownie into your big fat mouth, could you?  You are selfish and you have no self control.

Said: Are you hungry?
Heard: You probably always want to eat because you're such a chub.  

I sincerely wish I could say these examples are hyperbole, but they are truly, honestly the things I hear.  In the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation, all of the sudden I feel about an inch tall: humiliated, ashamed, defensive, hurt.

There is no way that we can anticipate what every one's languages and sensitivities are.  I think it's foolish to even try.  But maybe even recognizing that they're there can help us understand each other a little better.  To be more careful with our words.  And maybe to ask the people that we love if we are quietly hurting them, or to speak up when we're being hurt.

What's your language?

Shop Talk

When actors run into each other, we ask the question, "What've you been up to"?  Other variations are, Are you in anything right now, Anything coming up, or Did you hear who got cast in...

And my answer to these questions is...nothing, nope.

I'd like to say that this was a choice I made for myself, but that wouldn't be entirely true.  It would be what some people might refer to as 'a lie'.

The fact is, I made a choice a couple of years ago not to audition for anything that I wasn't getting some monetary compensation for, unless there was a really, really, really great reason to go for it.  I felt like this decision was best for me in trying to move my performing career forward.  The result, of course, is that I go to far fewer auditions, and (logically) I get far fewer parts.  In fact, in the last 11 months, no parts.  And each part that I didn't get devastated me, and I've ended up ugly-crying on the couch in my yoga pants, wondering what's wrong with me, analyzing every moment of every audition, kicking myself for things I did or didn't do.

Family Day

Instead of a bunch of writing today, I'm just going to show you some crappy iPhone pictures of what we did for BC's first Family Day.  There was also a lot of Battleship and foosball and snacking.  Rock on, families.

Quote of the Week: The Board

These are tricky days, friends.

This Quote of the Week comes from a board member at my work.  We were talking about the board members' role in the organization, and she said,

"We should be the Keepers of the Dream and the Lovers of the Vision"

She, in case you couldn't tell, is awesome.

We are going through some changes at work.  One of our beloved friends and colleagues is moving on to greener pastures (German Pastures, actually) and it means shifting things around post-haste.  I am blessed to work with wonderful people whom I love (really) and trust, and I know it will sort itself out, but I struggle with change.

Nope, let's rephrase that.

I HATE change.

It makes me feel like this.

Anorexia Unwrapped: I

Click here for Part 2!

Anorexia is hard to talk about, and it sounds so serious and weird.  It doesn't wrap up nicely in one blog post.  It doesn't have a beginning, a middle and an end.  And it CERTAINLY doesn't have a denouement.  If this topic gives you this face:

Then ignore this, and go check out some s'mores-related recipes on Pinterest and join us later for an adorable cake.