I have always been very into rainbows. They're pretty AND orderly! It's basically a dream come true for a little OCD kid, like a times table chart but prettier. When I line things up in RYOGBV order I feel calm and in control.
So while I still love rainbows, they're always this weird little reminder that mental illness has touched every part of my life. My likes and dislikes, my experiences and activities, my relationships, my body.
I don't believe that mental illness is a blessing in disguise or a gift bestowed upon me. I don't believe that I am required to be grateful for it making me stronger or more empathetic or creative or whatever light and fluffy garbage Upworthy is spouting to try and make us feel better about the fact that the playing field of life is grossly uneven. I wish our culture wasn't so hell-bent on trying to find the good, and instead we could lean into the pain and grieve and keen for what we wish we had, or wish we hadn't lost.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
If you are lucky enough to be part of a couple who has received the lowest accolades possible in the comedy world, but still find themselves hilarious, you may end up here:
Steven makes a joke
Steven: That was funny.
Shantini: Nope, it wasn’t.
Steven: Yes it was.
Shantini: I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
Steven: Well, ONE of us is paid to do comedy, so I think that’s the person whose opinion should be taken as fact when discussing whether or not that joke was funny.
Shantini: Right! I forgot! How WAS that improv show for the 7th Day Adventist New Years Party?
Shantini: And how about the Christian College’s Women’s Soccer Fundraiser Luncheon?
Steven:…it’s next week.
Shantini: Right. Must be so satisfying to be paid for comedy. For me, it’s not so much about the money, but about the art. For instance, if we knew anyone who had been featured on the front page of Huffington Post Comedy, that would be impressive. Do we know anyone like that?
Steven: Yeah, maybe.
Shantini: Because I would think, someone featured on the front page of Huffington Post Comedy, next to Bill Burr and The Muppets, would have an indisputable handle on whether or not a joke is funny. We’d just have to take that person’s expert opinion.
Steven: I suppose.
Shantini: Right. So I guess that’s settled.
Steven: How much money did you make from that video again?
Shantini: I don’t want to talk about it.